


White on White

by Artemis1000



Series: Snapshots - Prompt fic [18]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Dark, F/F, Imperial Jyn Erso, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Tumblr Prompt, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 17:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16580522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis1000/pseuds/Artemis1000
Summary: Leia was 19 when she saw Jyn Erso for what could only be the last time.She didn’t stand up from her prison berth, just gestured to it with a wave of her hand, snapping at Jyn, “Welcome to my humble abode. I’m sure you’ll make yourself right at home.”The cell looked even smaller with Jyn standing in it. She was wearing Imperial white again. Of course she was, she always did. Leia would have liked to say she was surprised to see her here, but honestly, she wasn’t. More poignant in her mind, she noted that she felt no relief to see a familiar, once friendly face, and took no comfort from her presence. If anything, she felt more alone for no longer being alone.





	White on White

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WritinRedhead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritinRedhead/gifts).



> Writinredhead asked for Jyn/Leia dark!fic and that called for tragic enemy romance.

The first time Leia saw Jyn Erso was at Emperor Palpatine’s court. Jyn was 18 to Leia’s 16 years of age and a solemn-faced vision in white much like Leia herself. While the soft flow of Leia’s Alderaanian dress sought to please the eye, Jyn’s white uniform denoting her a junior officer in Advanced Weapons Research looked nothing but sinister to Leia’s eyes. For all that, she looked as uncomfortable as if she was playing dress up in someone else’s clothes.

Jyn was accompanying her father, Galen Erso, who in turn was accompanying Orson Krennic, the leader of some top secret project which was bound to be nothing but bad news for the freedom-loving people of the galaxy. Officially, Krennic and Erso were being honored for their work on renewable energy.

Leia, accompanying her own father, had to keep from laughing in scorn.

The Empire had never cared about sustaining anything but itself.

 

The next time Leia saw Jyn Erso, she was 17 to Jyn’s 19, and Jyn had grown into her uniform.

“Are you still attending the University of Coruscant?” Leia asked casually, a smile sharp and brittle enough to cut glass on her lips.

Jyn’s eyes narrowed. “Yes,” she said, just barely short of snapping, but her back snapped straight.

“How nice,” Leia said.

Maybe it was petty to hold the nepotism against Jyn that had gotten her a high-ranking science position before she even finished school, when Leia herself wouldn’t have gained her rank at her age if not for being the Princess of Alderaan. She chose to take offense anyway. People like the Ersos, people like Jyn, stood for everything that was wrong with the Empire. She deserved nothing but scorn and acidic courtesy.

“We all strive to continue the work of our fathers,” Jyn said and sipped on her drink as if she wasn’t bothered at all.

Somewhere during the last year, Jyn Erso had learned to play the game.

Leia stifled a frown. She had no right and no cause to feel disappointed.

“For the glory of the Empire.”

Jyn obediently raised her glass and glared daggers at Leia over the rim of it.

Leia gave her a smile in return.

 

It took another year for Leia to speak properly to Jyn again, though she had taken to noticing her whenever their paths crossed on Imperial Center. It happened ever more often; the Emperor liked to keep Krennic and Erso senior close to him these days. Ill news for the rest of the galaxy, for sure, but the Rebellion had not yet been able to learn what they were working on. They couldn’t get close to anyone high enough in the project.

“I heard you graduated with honors. Congratulations.”

Jyn turned around from studying the panorama of nighttime Imperial Center as if surprised, yet something told Leia that she had known of Leia’s presence as soon as she stepped onto the balcony. For one thing, nobody at court ever was unwary of their surroundings – or if they were, they did not remain long enough for it to become a concern.

“My parents are very proud,” Jyn said. She licked her lips and raised her head high with pride, and a spark of challenge in her eyes. “The Emperor himself took note of my success.”

Leia stalled halfway between the door and the edge of the protective force field, where Jyn stood. There was no banister. The Empire didn’t believe in pandering to carelessness.

If the Emperor took note of Jyn’s academic success, she must have risen high within Advanced Weapons Research and the science division’s internal hierarchy. No longer just the daughter of but a merit to Palpatine in her own right.

It was remarkable for a woman of 20 years. It made Leia feel sick to the stomach, to think of the weapons of mass destruction these pale hands holding a glass of Alderaanian wine would soon be building. How much blood would she have on her hands? How much did she already have on her hands?

“I know. I was stunned myself,” Jyn said blithely. She scrutinized her hard for another moment before she turned her back on Leia. Only the rigidity of her shoulders, emphasized by the clear-cut lines of her Imperial uniform, betrayed that she hadn’t forgotten about Leia’s presence altogether.

If Leia looked closely enough, she could almost see the cape fluttering on Jyn’s back already.

She would make it far - if Leia didn’t see the Empire crushed first.

If she did, Jyn would be crushed along with it, the fire in her eyes snuffed out.

She pressed her lips together. Slowly, Leia came to stand at Jyn’s side. There was nothing but another step and an invisible bubble between them and certain death. “Do you ever wonder about the Coruscant before?” Leia asked. Her heart felt strangely tight as she waited for an answer, as if it meant something though it couldn’t. Such dreams were far too dangerous.

“My father speaks of it often,” Jyn answered without hesitation, and Leia sucked in a sharp breath in surprise. Jyn’s sharp, knowing eyes took note of it. “He and Director Krennic started out working for the Republic.” Jyn’s lips thinned to a tight, pale line. “I was two when Emperor Palpatine saved us. I have never known any life other than the New Order. I spent all my life on Imperial Center and in Imperial research facilities, you see.”

Leia tried to imagine who she would have become, living such a life. She didn’t dare keep trying for too long, fearing what she would see.

“I can’t imagine what my life would have been like, growing up anywhere but on Alderaan.”

“But we all are the Empire,” Jyn said, a hint of hopefulness making her voice sound uncharacteristically hesitant. There was a question to her statement, asking for reassurance, a further oddity which made Leia gaze at her in puzzlement until she felt Jyn’s fingers brush her own and understood that she had asked for more than confirmation of political doctrine.

Her heart skipped a beat at the shy touch. Jyn was wearing no gloves tonight. She reached for her, interlacing their fingers, and found that despite the atrocious uniform, the woman beneath was flesh and blood like herself.

“I have to leave for a research outpost tomorrow. Are you staying on Coruscant much longer?”

“For as long as the Senate is in session.”

Jyn nodded once, briefly. She looked like she was trying very hard not to look as nervous as she felt, though her hand was sweaty in Leia’s despite the chill. “That is well after my return.”

“I will be here,” Leia offered.

When her father later asked her what she was trying to achieve, she had no answer for him. She didn’t lie when she told him she wasn’t sure. She had no answers.

 

The following week, Leia had to attend an execution. Admiral Tyro had been unfailingly loyal to the Emperor but he had fallen in love with the wrong woman, who passed on troop movements to the Rebel Alliance.

She applauded politely when the Emperor spoke of treason and justice. She didn’t so much as twitch when he died, to show upset at the death of traitors would be considered evidence of harboring traitorous thoughts yourself.

The next day, Leia asked to return early to Alderaan. She never returned Jyn’s calls.

 

Leia was 19 when she saw Jyn Erso for what could only be the last time.

She didn’t stand up from her prison berth, just gestured to it with a wave of her hand, snapping at Jyn, “Welcome to my humble abode. I’m sure you’ll make yourself right at home.”

The cell looked even smaller with Jyn standing in it. She was wearing Imperial white again. Of course she was, she always did. Leia would have liked to say she was surprised to see her here, but honestly, she wasn’t. More poignant in her mind, she noted that she felt no relief to see a familiar, once friendly face, and took no comfort from her presence. If anything, she felt more alone for no longer being alone.

Jyn didn’t sit, she didn’t respond at all to her challenge. She just glared at her, gloved hands balled into fists at her side. “You will die!” she snapped. “Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

Leia’s head shot up and the anger that had been simmering under her skin came to a boil, then exploded outward. “Of course it bothers me! I’m going to be tortured to death in what’s no doubt the monstrosity you helped build, and you’re just standing there and _gloating_!”

Jyn shifted her weight from one leg to the other. She crossed her hands behind her back. “Lord Vader is only asking for your compliance. It is very little to ask of a traitor.”

“It is _everything_!” Leia retorted, steel to her voice, and used a new wave of righteous anger to wash down the tears pricking at her eyes when Jyn only kept looking at her with these cold eyes, as poised as ever in her Imperial uniform.

Jyn stood there, silent and stubborn and still so poised, just as proud as Leia herself.

Leia waited and waited, yet the seconds ticked by and Jyn didn’t speak. She sighed irritably, finally standing up from her berth and going toe to toe with Jyn. Once again, they were mirroring another with their white-on-white clothes, just like when Leia first spied her on Imperial Center.

“Is this how it ends then?” she asked. “With silence?” She was proud but not even she was too proud to admit that it hurt to let it end like this – not that it had ever even begun. She swallowed. “I’m not disappointed. I knew you would never choose me.” She averted her eyes then, just for a moment staring at Jyn’s rank badge instead. She hadn’t. It hurt anyway. Blows still hurt even when you were braced for them; Darth Vader’s interrogation droid would have taught her this lesson even if life hadn’t. “I just want to know why you are here if it’s not to help me.”

They were silent again. Jyn’s spine went even stiffer, her face gained a soldierly blankness which wasn’t like Jyn at all.

“I can’t get you out.”

“I know that,” Leia said, just to speed things up when they both knew the real answer was that Jyn didn’t want to get her out. The only reason for Jyn to be on this Imperial monstrosity was that she had helped build it, in which case she would know more about it than Tarkin and Vader together. If she wanted, she could go and do whatever she pleased. Only, she didn’t want to run. Jyn Erso was exactly where she wanted to be, just as she had always been. “It doesn’t tell me why you are here.”

Jyn’s hand twitched, she reached up, looking pained, and for a heart-stopping moment, Jyn looked like she would reach for Leia and kiss her.

For a moment, she hoped she would.

Then Jyn caught herself and Leia remembered that Jyn had forfeit the right to kiss her, and they both retreated into shells of composure.

Jyn used the same motion to step aside, bringing as much distance between them as the tiny cell would permit, and reached for a blaster hidden in her left boot.

Leia shoved down a wave of frustration. If she had known of the blaster while Jyn was so close, she would have tried to get it. It could have been her best chance to rescue herself.

Oblivious, or simply uncaring to these thoughts, Jyn looked down at the blaster in her hand, weighing it. “I can’t get you out.” She looked towards Leia, waiting for her to meet her eyes before she continued. “But I can end it.”

Leia forced down another lump in her throat. “Is this what you came for?” She ran suddenly sweaty hands over her dress. “To offer me death?” It might, it struck her suddenly, been the most thoughtful gift Jyn could have possibly ever given her.

Jyn didn’t want to look at her anymore. “I thought you might want it if given the choice.”

“You and I know my death isn’t what Vader is after.” She inhaled deeply and steeled herself. It would be an end. No more pain. No more fear. No more risk of her breaking and betraying the Rebellion’s secrets… only for another to take her place. “If I’m gone, he will go for my father.”

A day or two, and news of her capture would have surely reached Alderaan, the Organas would have gone underground. Then she would be free to take Jyn’s offer, if it still stood.

Emotions flickered over Jyn’s face, most prominent among them a pained anger Leia hadn’t thought her capable of showing for Leia’s sake at all. “It is all I can give you.”

“I know.”

They stood once more in silence.

There was nothing left to be said between them, maybe. They had never had much to say to another at all, maybe. When they still had time, they hadn’t been able to speak honestly and now that the facades had been ripped off, they were out of time.

Story of Leia’s life, really.

She sighed and sat again. She had done nothing but sit and wait for her torture to resume, and yet she felt too wearied to stand any longer. “Is the Empire worth it?”

Jyn smiled. It looked sad, and yet there was no doubt in her voice when she said, “It is everything.”

Leia turned her head, unable to keep looking at Jyn and what could have been. “Then there is nothing left to say.”

Jyn didn’t disagree.

 


End file.
